Stop Searching For Balance

Joyful Momma

bal·ance

noun

an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
2.
a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

verb

1.
keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

2.

offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.

I’m going to say it…..and I am going to (maybe) explain myself.  But you momma, need to stop searching for balance. I don’t want balance. I don’t want equal weight on things.

We women, are not unhappy and stressed because we lack balance, we are unhappy and stressed because we are unable to make what is important to us a priority!

I want priorities and the strength to back up where my values lie and what I place the most value on.  I might be juggling things, but I don’t want all the “things to be in balance”.  Sometimes I CHOOSE to drop an activity, a commitment, a relationship (gasp) to keep the things “up” that should be up.

About every 6 months or so, I look at our kids and our family, our jobs, school, and activities and I really evaluate how all of those things are juggling to keep the right things up the most often.  This year, that meant that my girls were 100% happy to not do fall ballet because it meant instead of juggling dance class and rehearsals 3 times a week, we simply went out an enjoyed a night at the library followed by a restaurant dinner.  The bonding and fun we have experienced are so so awesome!  And when we talk about activities and how that plays into our “family fun night out”, each kiddo has ideas on how that will work.

Now, my kids are currently 9, 7, and 5.  So we have plenty of years ahead of us for activities and sports and such, but for this certain time, this feels really good and it feels really right for our family.  It has been such a treat every week!  We go out to eat right after school and take card games and play and chat and have fun.  Then we head to the library and do homework and studying, playing with the blocks, and find all kinds of new books.  All 5 of us.  All together.  Doing the same thing every week.  We are putting in the time.

Do you often take time to reflect on your bigger goals?  Fo your family, longterm?  For yourself, short term?

Take some time this month and write down 5 values you have.  And then for the next 30 days, make your decisions around those 5 values.

I knew that I wanted to have a clear view of my values.

  1.  Being very connected and in tune with my husband.

  2. Being diligent about knowing what God says about my life and value.

  3. Family and Sibling unity.

What this looks like in the business sense for me, is that I took the stress off my blog by keeping it as passive income on posts already out there and NOT forcing new sponsorships, viral posts, or social media sharing.

What this looks like for me being connected with my husband is that we sit down for lunch (at home, at my infusions, or at a restaurant on a date) to discuss what he is doing in his work and how I can support him and what extra time or resources he needs.  We do this once a week.

And for family and sibling unity, that means prioritizing our family night out.  We order dinner, talk all about the “good and bad” of their day, we talk about homework and friends and teachers.  We play games.  No cooking.  No dishes. Just bonding and my kids LOVE it!  It is 100% our favorite night of the week.  Even if it is Noodles and Co….not fancy in any way….it is together and fun.

Day to day, this means that my goals are often simple

  1. Ordering groceries according to the meal plan
  2. making haircut appointments
  3. emailing teachers and coaches
  4. putting away laundry

I get to pick 2 usually, because I have a chronic illness and I just can’t do very much in one day.

Girl, momma, friend- You CAN start living by your values and not searching for balance.  And you CAN re-evaluate those values over and over and over again.

This is your beautiful, meaningful life and God has put you in it to shine bright.  Go there.  Shine bright.  And smile while doing it.  It will look VERY counter-cultural.

 

 

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